Burnout Paradise loses its sparkle.

It is with a heavy heart that I write this posting. I loved previous versions of 'Burnout', and pre-ordered Criterion's 'Burnout Paradise' for the Sony PS3, and it has been one of the most enjoyable purchases that I've made. I say this despite some niggling little annoyances from Criterion over the last year:

- there's the audio podcast that I used to listen to, which then went video-only, and got dumbed down into little more than pure marketing of a product that changed from a stated policy of free updates and down-loadable content to one that includes bits that are slightly less than free.
- there's the online availability from day one of detailed statistics on exactly what progress you have made in the games, so incredibly detailed that when they finally added trophy support, there was no way of using all that information to update the trophies. Starting again was the only option... Ouch!

And now, there's today's '1.60' update. Now, dumbed-down IS fashionable, and I applaud Criterion for following a potentially profitable trend in a time of financial uncertainty, but the cost has been considerable:

- there's the selection of bikes or cars, which used to be via selecting one or the other in a garage, but which now has been moved to the (slower feeling) start-up sequence so that now you have to quit the game and re-start to change from bikes to cars or vice-versa. Just a minor negative improvement there.
- choosing the car or bike used to have that subtle highlighting that any PS3 owner is familiar with, but this has now been replaced with the selected car being rather unsubtly highlighted. Maybe it was just me who didn't have any problem with knowing which car I had chosen?
- then there's the night mode. Previously the night was... dark, and it made high-speed driving a considerable challenge because you couldn't see much beyond your headlights. Rather like when it is dark in the real world. But now we have that wierd 'blue=night' effect that you see in some films, where it isn't really dark, but there's this blue version of sunlight instead. Suddenly, what was a challenge becomes just a colour change. So, a slightly more negative improvement there...
- the game features some 'find these items' challenges, and finding billboards, closed-off areas, and places offering big jumps has required a keen eye and long periods of exploration. Until now, that is. The billboards now flash with a bright saturated red so that you can't really miss them (oh, and the early cars have been made easier to control so that driving them is easier anyway!), the smash-thrus now have bright-yellow flashing signs, and the big jumps now have actinic blue lights attracting your attention. Careful searching has given way to a desperate need for sunglasses.
- the game has also changed its look. It now has the greys with the odd burst of important colour look of 'Mirror's Edge', but the greys are washed out and the colours bloom because the saturation is set too high. Cars with bright green paint now glow in the sun-light because the colour is set so high, whilst the backgrounds look dull and samey. All in all, it looks like a child's toy: bright, vibrant primary colours for a young mind. But hey, you can now see all those things that you are supposed to because they are the bits in colour! Duh! So there's more negative improvement there too.
- oh, and the rather attractive orange colour that featured in all of the menus and title has been replaced with a slightly washed-out royal blue. Just a bit dull for my taste, and not quite the bold colours of 'Burnouts' of old.
- I won't even mention the 'No Retry' policy which has been U-turned. That would be cruel.

So there we have it. A great game turned into a very different game at a stroke. There doesn't seem to be a 'No Thank You' option for the update, so I'm stuck. This is yet another 'downgrade as upgrade'! I notice that Criterion have turned off their forums, but there are other forums still open, and the posts have a tense mixture of shock and dismay, contrasted with enthusiastic welcomes. I'm one of the former, and for me, today was the day that 'Burnout Paradise' lost a lot of its sparkle. A sad day.

The ability to update games online has been an interesting ride since the PS3 came out. 'Burnout Paradise' had been leading the curve up until now, but this feels like a step too far to me. I can only hope that lessons will be learned from this. It seems that updatability has advantages and disadvantages...

Downgrades as upgrades: Cartons

Over the last few years, I've grown accustomed to a strange phenomenon that has afflicted a once functional and pleasant land - the 'Downgrade as Upgrade'. I've watched in dismay as things that are supposedly new, improved, better, etc, have actually been impaired/restricted/reduced in features or performance. QuickTime has gradually lost the ability to convert between many formats like it used to, and seems increasingly to be just a player for the latest formats. Windows Media Player has lost just about all functionality beyond playing videos and adverts, and it has lost all its menus and usability in the process, but it has certainly gained the ability to stop me playing content that it thinks I shouldn't.

Just about every time I 'upgrade' a piece of software, I know with a heavy heart that this means that DRM will reduce my ability to use it, will further restrict what I can do, that features will vanish never to re-appear, that useful aspects will be twisted so they no longer delight me, and more. Much more. Trying to buy a monitor for my PS3 turned into a long, drawn-out battle trying to find out if an apparently suitable DVI-equipped monitor actually supported HDCP with the right version number. When LCD manufacturers seem determined to not tell you the specifications for their products so that you can check if the PS3 will allow itself to output a picture to the monitor, then I know the world has lost the plot (and any other idiom or euphemism). So how do you put something as big as the Earth in a strait-jacket?

And it isn't just software and hardware. The creeping malaise has spread much wider. Just recently, I've been trying to find a way to pour milk out of milk cartons without it going everywhere. Ten years ago, I remember that milk cartons came with a top not unlike a pitched roof, where you peeled apart the sides, and squeezed, then pulled one of the sides down to make a spout. Quick and simple, and it poured beautifully. Years of advances in science and technology later, and I'm faced with flat-top cartons equipped with tiny plastic widgets on top, where you flick open the tiny cover, peel away a foil cover, and then pour, and the milk proceeds to dribble down the side of the carton. In fact, it flatly refuses to pour properly.

I've asked around. No-one that I've talked to knows how to make them pour properly. Lots of milk gets wasted because you can't pour them properly. If this is such a great invention that it is on all cartons then why doesn't it work?

Why are we stuck with 'Downgrades as upgrades'? If I was cynical I might even suggest that politicians suffer from the same effect...

Hmmm. I seem to have written an article in a style that some people might associate with 'The Register'!